Oh Pickles...

Most people who have visted our shop at http://www.frozenyoga.etsy.com/ have seen our melted wine bottles. People seem to really love them.  My favorite Etsy partner-in-crime, Gina, melts our wine bottles in a kiln.  Well, Gina decided to change things up a bit and melted a 5-gallon pickle jar (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34570392).  This has gotten a lot of good feedback as well but has made me think about things -- important things.  Why do I hate pickles so much?

I've never liked a pickle -- I might be stereotyping, as I'm sure there are some very nice pickles out there, but I just can't stand any of them.  Never liked them as a kid, never liked them as an adult, and never even liked them when I was pregnant.  I refuse to eat anything a pickle has touched even after it has been removed. Pickle juice remains and tampers the whole thing.  Gina is a pickle lover.  I haven't asked her, but I guarantee you she drank the majority of that pickle juice before cleaning out the jar.  My husband does the same thing and I cringe every time.  My father-in-law puts relish on everything.  People love some pickles.  Before you judge me for stereotyping though, I know for a fact that there is a lot of pickle-ism out there.  Many dill lovers hate sweet pickles and therefore, judge sweet pickle lovers and vice versa.  My husband is one of these dill people and it's interesting, because his dad is a sweet pickle kind of guy.  Somehow they still manage to make their father-son relationship work.

In the name of science, I'll start with 5 pickle facts in the hopes that understanding a pickle will
make me appreciate it more.  DISCLAIMER: Most of my "facts" were found on the Internet so the validity is up for debate.

FACT 1:  Pickles are foods soaked in solutions that help prevent spoilage.
RESPONSE 1:  I read this to mean pickles shouldn't exist.  They were supposed to spoil which means it was all part of a divine plan and we interrupted it.  We should really avoid playing God.

FACT 2:  Pickles played an important role in Columbus’ discovery of America in 1492.  Apparently, scurvy was caused by a Vitamin C deficiency so they stocked the ships with pickles rich in Vitamin C to prevent a scurvy outbreak.
RESPONSE 2:  My thoughts immediately go to the early Native Americans.  I can see it two ways: 1) They hated pickles because it meant Columbus and his crew made it to the "New World" and took over; or 2) Maybe (just maybe) they loved pickles because it meant they didn't wind up with scurvy either.  I'll leave this one up in the air.

FACT 3:  Cucumber pickle factories usually ferment cucumbers in large outdoor vats of salt brine. Surprisingly, these vats have no cover, and are wide open to falling bird droppings, insects, and other airborne objects.  Supposedly, this is for the best because the sun’s ultraviolet and infrared rays prevent yeast and mold growth on the brine surface—potentially a much more serious problem than bird droppings.
RESPONSE 3:  Really?!? I don't think a response is needed. This one stands alone.

FACT 4:  Pickling vegetables not only improves their flavor, it can also make them more nutritious and easier to digest. During fermentation, bacteria produce vitamins as they digest vegetable matter.
RESPONSE 4:  OK Pickles, you win that round (well, except for the improving flavor part).

FACT 5:  I tried doing a google search for famous people/celebrities who love pickles. Here are a few results from that search:  Selena Gomez (Disney teen actress) loves pickles; Axl Rose, allegedly, looks like a pickle; Pickles the Feral Crippled Kitten seeks love; and something about Swollen Pickles.
RESPONSE 5:  I have to admit that Pickles the Feral Crippled Kitten looking for love pulled at my heart strings.  I don't think the name 'Pickles' had anything to do with that though.  If anything, I will now associate pickles with crippled kittens.

That wraps up my research (and I use the term loosely) into the world of pickles. My final conclusion?
I still hate pickles...maybe even more now. Pickle-ism lives on.